Working Girl

After being unemployed and doing volunteer work for the better part of three years now, I'm not sure I'll EVER find a job again. I've had a few interviews during this period, but no offers. And it's not like I'm not applying for many jobs. I've probably sent/emailed/faxed more than one hundred resumes for a variety of jobs, all of which I was sure I was qualified for. It's quite discouraging.
I'm currently an "on-call" employee for the county library system, which means I work when regular staff are out sick or on leave. While I do get paid for this work, I hesitate to call it my job. My schedule is erratic, and there are stretches of weeks when I don't work at all. I guess anyone who's been a temp or a substitute teacher can relate to my predicament. I always try to do good work when I'm filling in for staff, but I have to admit that I'm not very motivated to do great work - I mean, where's my incentive? Doing great work won't get me a raise or a promotion. So I've settled into doing good-enough-for-government-work work. And it seems to be, pardon the pun, working for me. I get paid, I get called for shifts when they're available, and I now have a reason to get out of my house other than going to the grocery store. I have lots of free time for writing and house projects, and since my husband works and makes a good salary, we're not hurting for money. Still, I can't help but feel there's something wrong with this picture.
When I worked, I enjoyed bringing home a paycheck. I also enjoyed interacting with my coworkers and customers and getting to know them. And I had a schedule that gave structure to my week. In my current situation, it's hard to make plans and appointments with certainty because I'm never sure when I'm going to be working. I'm not entirely out of the loop with regard to who's who and what's what in the library, but I'm sure I'm missing out on a few things that would give me a clearer idea of what's going on with "the bigger picture."
I'm pretty sure I'll find a job sooner or later. I live in Northern Virginia, the land of plenty when it comes to jobs, so there's bound to be one with my name on it. I just hope that when I get the offer, I won't be so used to this on-call lifestyle that I turn it down. You'll be among the first to know if I do.