STORMY WEATHER

What's the deal with all these awful tornadoes in the U.S. this spring? It seems like every time I turn on the tv news, another town or city has been ravaged by a twister. Traumatic childhood memories of watching Dorothy and Toto struggle to survive a tornado in The Wizard of Oz come to the surface when I hear the word "tornado." It probably doesn't help that when I was a kindergartener our family lived in Kansas, smack-dab in the middle of tornado territory. Instead of (or possibly in addition to) fire drills, we had tornado drills in school. Scary stuff for a five-year-old, indeed. And one tornado that touched down was so close by that my mother took me and my sister down into the basement to make sure we would survive if it struck our home (mercifully, it didn't).
So, I'll be really happy when this year's busy tornado season winds down (no pun intended). To paraphrase Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, I may not be in Kansas any more -- but with this spring's stormy weather, I'm beginning to feel like I am.

The Weather is Hot, That's What's Hot

Every year at this time, I like to give a big, sloppy farewell kiss to winter, followed immediately by a long and welcoming hug to spring. I love the season that occupies the months of April and May and most of June. It makes me so happy to open the windows to let the spring breeze into my house and hear the birds singing again after their winter hiatus. Notice I said I like to welcome SPRING! NOT SUMMER, but spring! I say this emphatically because today it was in the low 80s in the metro Washington area, and if felt like summer had arrived -- two months too soon. Is it just me, or does spring seem to get shorter every year? Lately we make the transition from winter coats to tank tops in the space of a few weeks. Am I the only one who wishes spring lasted longer ? For me, spring is more than a season -- it's a period of rebirth and optimism that I find very useful in helping me clear out the winter cobwebs in my mind's attic.
Oh, yea! I just heard a meteorologist on tv saying the high temperatures in our area tomorrow will be in the seasonable 60s. I sure hope she's right. And I won't gripe about an April shower or two if it means that spring is going to stick around for a while.

What's Hot in Music

I'll be 50 this year (yikes!), but despite my advancing age I still get a jones for heavy metal and hard rock music on a regular basis. Even the dead-on heavy metal mockumentary Spinal Tap couldn't stop me from loving Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, and Aerosmith, to name a few of my favorite bands of the genre. Lucky for me, when I get a craving for some hard-driving music, I can almost always find it playing on the radio, as there are a couple of stations that program it in the metropolitan Washington, D.C. market. And while I might not crank the volume up as much as I did when I was in my 20's and 30's when a great metal song comes on,  I still like it best when it's rather loud. A perfect spring afternoon for me would be listening to Zeppelin's Houses of the Holy while reading Creem magazine and smoking Marlboro 100 cigarettes. Rock on!

What's Hot In The Oven

Key lime pie, that's what. It's easy as pie (sorry) if you use bottled lime juice instead of fresh lime juice and buy a pre-made crust. And that tangy, tart, tantalizing lime flavor that tickles your tongue when you taste it is terrific. It's one of the very few desserts I love that don't have chocolate in them. I'd go have a slice right now but it's almost 1 a.m. so it's too late for a midnight snack.

What's Not Hot About Religion

I wonder if my dad, the outspoken atheist, is finally rubbing off on me. I say this because I'm having trouble believing in God these days. I mean, if there is a God who can create and/or destroy anything He wants to, why would He have kept our dumbass human race alive for this long? I mean, if we're really made in His image, we wouldn't do stupid things like eat our boogers or watch reality TV, would we? And, more importantly, if God exists, why on Earth would He have let Harry and David go bankrupt? How are we humans supposed to survive, nevermind evolve, without Moose Munch and chocolate covered blueberries to eat? God, if you truly exist, and you truly love us, give us a sign or three. Make Charlie Sheen disappear. Make "Thou Shalt Not Belch" the 11th Commandment. Make my house sell for the asking price. Amen.

What Was That?

Was that a freaking train whistle I heard blowing last night at 3 in the morning? I mean, was that really necessary, Mr. Conductor? Are there that many cars or pedestrians on the road at that hour that you felt you needed to do that? I can't imagine that would be the case. Isn't it enough that I have to listen to your train's steel wheels rolling loudly over the metal tracks every day, morning, noon, and night? I live at least a mile away from the tracks, but it feels like I live right beside them when your whistle rudely awakens me in the middle of my much-needed beauty rest.

What's Not Hot In The World

What can I say that hasn't already been said bout the earthquake in Japan? There's no superlative that comes to mind that hasn't already been used. Maybe a new word needs to be added to our language to capture the terrible-ness of the situation. I can't think of one, but if you do, let me know. Not only am I unable to put my feelings into words, but I am unable to wrap my mind around the magnitude and senselessness of destruction that occurred as a result of the earthquake and tsunami. If there is a God, I hope (s)he is capable of figuring out what it all means, if anything. I'm not an atheist, but I have a feeling that even God in all his (her) wisdom is scratching his (her) head over this disaster.