What's Not Hot At The Gas Station

Has anyone noticed how high gas prices are? Of course you have! If it weren't so difficult to figure out where and how to safely store and dispense gas, we'd all be hoarding it by now. I bet it's the high gas prices that are making Charlie Sheen so angry lately.

What's Hot in Hollywood

The Academy Awards are just around the red-carpeted corner, so here's a little something I wrote in honor of the event:

If I were Oscar
I'd want to be taken home
By Ms. Natalie Portman
Or Mr. James Franco
If I could go home with
Either one of those beauties
We wouldn't waste our time
Discussing the year's best/worst movies.
 

What's Hot In My Cup

Via, the powdered version of Starbucks Coffee that you add hot water to (and milk, if you're me) and drink. It's nearly as good as the fresh brewed stuff you get in the cafes (no, really, it is!), and cheaper, too. Is Starbucks putting itself out of business by making available a version of its coffee that you can make in a jiffy at home, or will Via enhance the coffee merchant's profile and profits? Will coffee drinkers shun it because it reminds them of those declasse instant coffees like Taster's Choice and Nescafe that their parents and grandparents drank in the '70's? Stay tuned....

What's So Hot About Aging?

Now that I'm approaching 50, I think I should try and look at the bright side of aging as I reluctantly succumb to it. I'll get back to you when I succeed.. Until then, however, I will cling tightly to my dour belief that aging sucks! Big time!!!!! Especially for us gals. Breasts shrink, chin hairs grow, job opportunities dry up along with your ovaries. It takes twice as long as it used to to do just about anything, and then it takes twice as long as it used to to recover from doing it. People I once liked and respected tell me I should be happy that I am aging, that it's better than the alternative. I smile and tell them I'm grateful for a lot of things, but, hey, sorry, getting older ain't one of them. Then I take my Centrum Silver and call it a day.

What's Hot In My Closet

My favorite piece of clothing is always the one I'm about to buy, but having said that, the best thing in my closet right now is a cool faux leather vest with faux fleece lining and lots of snaps up the front -- it makes me feel like a faux biker when I wear it. I just need to get some temporary tattoos and a fake piercing, and I'll be ready for my close-up in Easyriders magazine. Vroom-vroom!

What If A Suburban Chick (me) Wrote A Country Song Lyric...

Like Taylor you were swift

Like Keith I was urban

We fell in love fast and hard

Over ginger ale and bourbon

Like Johnny you made lots of cash

Like Leann I wrote rimes

About how I would save you

From your cheating beating heart

We went up love’s hill with faith

But it was rocky at the top

Found out it wasn’t no sugar-land

Now like Dolly we are parton

You’re moving to Alabama

With some girl named Elvira

Bet she’s one of those Dixie chicks

You used to hang out with

Me, I’m walking after midnight

Trying to forget about you

Like Merle I’m getting haggard

But I got nothing better to do.

What If...

...you could be someone else for a day? Who would you be?
I'd be nobody else, because then I wouldn't be me.
I wouldn't be able to write a poem or strum a little guitar.
I wouldn't be able to drive around in circles in my little green car.

But if I had to be someone else for a day
I'd choose my younger self
Around the age of 8 or 9
Before I went into my shell.
When I was happy and confident
Not fearful and morose.
I never wished  for anything other
Than what was real and close.